Pretty Classy Stuff, Huh? And Best of All It Didn’t Take Up A Lot of Your Time!

If you're like me, you buy a lot of TV shows on DVD. In fact, for the last couple of years, nearly all of my DVD purchases have been TV shows. But there's a game that studios play with consumers of TV on DVD, and it's freakin' maddening.

First of all, let's say that you're a fan of Cheers, undoubtedly one of the top five sitcoms ever. You're such a fan that you made the decision to collect the show on DVD and religiously purchased the first eight seasons, which were released between May of 2003 and June of 2006. But then Paramount decided that the show hasn't sold well enough and will not release the final three seasons, meaning that your collection will never be complete. You're highly annoyed. (Unless you're only into Shelley Long or Nicholas Colasanto.)

So then let's say that you learned your lesson and when your other favorite sitcom, let's say it's Who's the Boss? (hey, it's possible, maybe you're into Judith Light), was released on DVD, you decided only to buy it once all the seasons were released and you know you can have a complete collection. Trouble is, other people had the same idea and no one bought the first season, which meant that release plans for later seasons were scrapped. Then you think that maybe you should have bought season one after all and told all of your friends in the Who's the Boss? chat room to do the same. You're highly annoyed.

So then let's say that your other favorite sitcom is Seinfeld. You rightly figure Seinfeld is popular enough to have all seasons released. You buy the first seven box sets and wait eagerly for the eighth and final one. Then you find out that on the same day that the final season is being released, a mega super fantastic big box set with all eight sets included is coming out along with a bonus disc and a coffee table book exclusive to the mega super fantastic big box set. And to add insult to injury, the mega super fantastic big box set costs less then all of the individual box sets you already bought. You're highly annoyed.

This is what faces consumers of TV on DVD. You feel compelled to buy the first seasons so more seasons come out, but if the show proves highly popular on DVD, then you're asked to buy the "complete series" box set with more bells and whistles. It's quite a money-laundering scheme for studios.

Best thing to do? Wait. Eventually the extra goodies exclusive to season sets are usually made available somehow without having to spring for the pricey boxes. In the case of Seinfeld, I'm hoping that the coffee table book and bonus DVD will be repackaged and resold separately, probably in time for Christmas 2008.

The other option if you really feel you MUST have the "complete series" box set is to sell your existing seasons on ebay and use the money toward the series set. That's what I did with the M*A*S*H series box set -- I even ended up making a little profit to go along with the three extra discs. I felt kinda dirty suckering the person silly enough to pay for the individual seasons on ebay when he or she could have gotten the whole series for cheaper, but that feeling went away pretty quickly. Kind of like the happy feeling I get when I buy another TV on DVD set -- that feeling is normally replaced with, "When the hell am I going to watch this one? I'm already four years behind on The Sopranos! Aw, screw that show -- I'll wait for the complete box set."

Quick takes:

1. Hey, a new Eagles album is coming out. Wait, it's exclusive to Walmart stores? Guess I'll never get it. Glenn Frey isn't worth the emotional scarring of a normal trip to Walmart. If the typical Walmart shopper is OK with treating their kids that way in public, what do they do with them once they get home? Ouch.



2. I see that 100.5 FM here in Madison has declared The Beatles's recording "You Know My Name (Look Up The Number)" one of the worst songs ever. I get tired of every "worst song ever" list feeling the need to take a shot at the best band ever. Sure, not every Lennon/McCartney track is an aural orgasm, but you'd have to construct a very very long list of bad songs before getting to any of their catalog. Besides, everyone knows that "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" is the worst Beatles song.



3. Will the new reality show Kid Nation get on the air, or will CBS, in the face of criticism from every child advocacy group in existence, be forced to pull it in favor of more Power of 10? (Or, as I like to call it, "More Proof That Most Americans Have Some Ass-Backwards Ideas And Beliefs.") I think that Kid Nation will get on and that -- as with most popular culture items that come under this sort of scrutiny -- all this controversy and criticism will give it much more exposure and popularity than it would have been granted otherwise. The problem is that I've seen extended clips of the show, and if you can imagine what it's like to watch 40 kids between the ages of eight and fifteen bitch, moan, cry, and whine incessantly, then you've imagined Kid Nation. It's like attending a kids' birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese when you don't know or care about any of the kids and the restaurant has just run out of soda and pizza and they're substituting Teddy Grahams and skim milk. Ouch.

OK, so I haven't posted a blog in two months. Why the delay? Well, my wife and I had a baby girl back on June 18, and as anyone with kids knows, the first couple of months are sort of a blur. You don't get a lot of sleep, your fingers always smell like poop, and you're always cranky. And if you already have a child, as we do, forget it.

But, really, no good excuse. I've been back to work for several weeks now and have no good reasons for ignoring my entertainment blog readers as I have been.

So when I haven't been changing diapers or trying to squash feelings of resentment and jealousy about the baby in my four-year-old, what have I been thinking about? Let's go over it:

1. The Van Halen reunion tour is back on. Although I'm a little miffed that Michael Anthony and his trademark Jack Daniels bass guitars won't be included, this tour promises to be VERY interesting. Musically speaking, questions abound: What's the setlist? Will the lineup ignore later, "Van Hagar," tunes in light of David Lee Roth's insistence that the real Van Halen ended when he departed? (There's some good songs there and tracks like "Poundcake" seem right up DLR's alley.) Can the 16-year-old Wolfgang Van Halen keep up with his brothers or will his aging brothers have trouble keeping up with him? But more interesting still is the status of the relationships between EVH and DLR -- can these two stick together long enough to finish the tour and even cut another album as has been rumored? I'd say the odds are about 50-50 and should make the reunion a fascinating one to follow. The band isn't slated to play anywhere in Wisconsin, but stops in Chicago and Minneapolis are easily accessible and should be very much worth the trip.



2. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band are coming back with a new album (entitled Magic) on October 2 and a yet-to-be-officially-announced tour to support it. Maybe not as noteworthy as the return of Van Halen tour, but considering the success of E Street Band tours, definitely worthy of attention. As a huge fan of Springsteen's, I reacted to the announcement with guarded excitement. Although I like that the presence of the E Street Band virtually guarantees Magic will sell in large quantities, at this point in his career, it seems the music Springsteen makes outside of the E Street Band is more interesting. I like The Rising just fine, but Devils and Dust has more lasting tracks. Not to mention the greatness of Tunnel of Love and Lucky Town, both of which were recorded more or less solo. But Springsteen tours of any nature are always great. Have to bust open the bank account again to buy tickets to 3-4 shows at least.



3. What's the deal with Sesame Street? The show that I loved so much as a kid -- and it's not just wistful nostalgia; check out the fantastic Old School DVD box set -- has really degenerated. Gone are the fast funny bits, the catchy songs, and seemingly most of the characters I remember. Now everything is so precious and formulaic. You've got the long -- like 20 minutes long -- sketch at the beginning that always focuses on boring characters like Zoe, Elmo, Baby Bear, or, worse yet, the cringe-inducing Abby Cadabby. You've got Grover's role reduced to the deadly dull "Global Grover" segment, which is the equivalent of CBS demoting Letterman from his talk show to a "farm report" show. (OK, he'd still make that funny, but you get my point.) And don't even get me started on "Elmo's World," although I like Mr. Noodle. It's getting really hard to get my four-year-old to watch Sesame Street anymore, and I can't say that I blame him too much. Bring back Sherlock Hemlock!



4. Big Brother over on CBS. How is it that this show -- and I am being deadly serious here -- always manages to be so damn interesting? Even this year, with probably the least compelling cast they've ever had, enough is happening to make me almost shell out the money for Showtime Too so I can get the nightly uncensored three-hour Big Brother After Dark. (The preponderance of clips on YouTube prevents me from taking the plunge, as is the knowledge that I don't have three hours a night to spare on a reality show, nor should anyone else for that matter.) With "America's Player" in effect, will Dick survive? (As of this writing, Dick and Dustin are nominated.) Will Dick, Daniele, and Jen form an unholy and uneasy alliance? Will Amber -- the most unintentionally hilarious houseguest ever, and those watching know why -- completely lose it? Will the unbearably holier-than-thou Jameka win because she feels God is personally guiding her? Will the unbearably boring Zach ever say or do anything remotely interesting? Will Julie Chen ruin another Head of Household competition due to her incompetence? And why are the challenges and competitions on Big Brother always, always, always so much more interesting and varied than the stultifying tedious challenges on Survivor?

Well, I have more to get to, but I don't want to completely shoot my wad my first day back. If you're still reading, thanks for sticking with me and thanks for coming back. You'll be hearing more from me soon!